Michaella Ann Neal

In May of 2020, soon after she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Michaella asked me if I—Maureen (Pete) Williams—would write her obituary. I put it off, just as Michaella put off her inevitable death by cancer. She offered some factual information at the time, enough to partially fill a 3x5 notecard, enough to begin the homage and to end it. The story of her well lived life that is sandwiched between those points could fill reams of paper.

Michaella was born in Kansas City on October 17, 1959, to Patricia Lawless Neal and Harold Neal (Note: This was the first piece of information she offered). Their roots were in the Northeast end of Kansas City, but the family—Kevin, Paul, Michaella, Lisa, Deana, and Jennifer—settled in the south Kansas City St. Catherine’s neighborhood where they attended the area Catholic schools: St. Catherine’s Elementary School, Rockhurst High School, O’Hara High School, and St. Teresa’s Academy. It was a big family with a multitude of cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents. The neighborhood was full of children coming and going. Life revolved around school, sports, and family.

I met Michaella when she entered O’Hara in 1974. She was enrolled in a number of my advanced English classes over her four years, and I was constantly struck by her reserved friendliness, her scholarship, her inquisitive nature, and her ability to balance her load: school, athletics, extra curriculars, family, and work. From that early age she cultivated a spirit of independence and self-reliance. Her leadership skills were honed early with her participation in student government and her competitive spirit found a home on the court and field both as a player and coach. Throughout her life, she always had a full plate, rarely having time to call her own. Despite that, she found time to travel to Australia (pre-Bella) and to Costa Rica in 1997 to visit Jennifer who was living there. She and Bella often took trips to visit friends and family in Kentucky, Milwaukee, and New Orleans. In 2018 they traveled to Guatemala to experience first-hand the country of Bella’s birth. The Jack and Jill Foundation sponsored a trip for her and Bella to Branson, and in 2021, between chemo treatments, they joined Jennifer and her family in Mexico.

After graduating with a BS in Biology and Coaching from Northwest Missouri State in 1982, Mic returned to O’Hara as a teacher. She immediately embraced the philosophy of St. John Baptist de La Salle to not only teach minds but also touch hearts. An excellent teacher, she effectively mastered the former; and she was involved in a multitude of ways to touch students’ hearts, from the way she responded to them in the classroom to her demeanor on the volleyball and basketball courts. She was involved in TEC (Teens Encounter Christ) retreats and helped to promote the emerging LaSallian Youth group. Mic was always coaching or keeping score, understanding the importance that student success involved more than mastering academics, that it also involved a commitment to others. It was during these formative years of her career that Michaella established her reputation as a teacher students could trust, a teacher who had their backs, a teacher who would provide them with assistance in whatever storm they faced. They recognized the deep emotional investment she was making in their lives.

Michaella left O’Hara in 1991 for New Orleans, a city she loved for its warmth (she hated cold weather) and for the opportunity to meet people whose friendships impacted her life and whose relationships continued with her the rest of her life, even after she returned to KC in 2011. While there, she worked at De La Salle High School, Mercy High School, and Ursuline Academy (Director of Counseling). While in this city her awareness of the injustices of society grew even more, and she sought to do more. She volunteered as a mental health support advocate for the New Orleans Police Department, riding with an officer on nightly excursions twice a month. She saw the poverty in the poorest wards of the city and wanted to do something to support her belief that a good education was a right of all children. She offered her home to people in need, acting on her beliefs to help others. Becoming a foster parent was another way to reach out to those in need. Her compassion and passion were stirred by her mission trips, and when she took the step to adopt, she chose a child from Guatemala. After many delays, including Hurricane Katrina, Isabella joined Michaella and her Ursuline family. She loved little kids, and she loved having Bella in her life. Just as she would spoil her nephews, nieces, and children of friends, she embraced Bella, surrounding her for 21 years with her love, protection, and guidance.

An early example of Michaella’s determination to get things done involves her connection with the Bridges Program, a week long program in New Orleans established by a group of religious men and women, including Sister Helen Prejean. After learning of the program, Mic took a group of O’Hara students to New Orleans in the summer of 1987, offering them the challenge of living in housing projects to witness how the poor interact with social systems such as health care, judicial, and humanitarian (e.g., food access and shelters). Students met and talked to the people working in these systems as well as the people involved on the receiving end of those systems. Michaella worked to follow up with similar experiences after the students returned to KC. Eventually this experience morphed into the LaSallian Youth Program. She believed, because of her experiences with Bridges, that to serve the poor, one could not just “feed the poor.” Knowledge of the justice system and the systemic violations of the poor had to be part and parcel of the efforts to change people’s lives. Because of her connection to the program, Michaella was instrumental in Sister Helen coming to O’Hara to speak, an event that helped to raise the awareness in the larger community of the importance of social justice. In addition, LaSallian Youth expanded to a number of schools of the Christian Brothers.

In 2011 partially due to the unresolved reconstruction of the city in the aftermath of Katrina and the desire to be closer to family, Michaella returned to Kansas City, much to the delight of her many KC friends and her family! She took a job at Schlagle High School as a counselor, remaining there until she chose to retire in 2022. Her experiences were challenging, even before Covid threw a wrench into the works. Students were dealing with difficult poverty, violence, and emotional stress, all of which affected their gaining educational skills and their chances to be successful. Despite the pitfalls, she continued to find ways to help the students, including working with the principal to encourage community volunteers to be present at the schools by tutoring, working with after school clubs, and being mentors, among other things. She was a strong supporter of the Restorative Justice Program, believing that offenders needed to learn by making amends, not just being punished.

Michaella lived the mantra of Mother Teresa: Live simply so that others may simply live. She was not extravagant in her choice and number of clothes (and could not figure out why Bella was!). She had few indulgences—perhaps the necessary expenditures to keep a beautiful yard, the upkeep on her house, and assuring that Bella had whatever she needed to be successful. Her furnishings were simple. She could save money with the best of them. She was selfless, never complained (except about administrators), and had deep emotional feelings that she often kept to herself. Her father’s unexpected death in 1999 rocked her world, and she deeply mourned him. 

Education is often not easy. Sometimes Michaella seemed to make it harder than it needed to be, but that was because she was an unrelenting advocate for the students and made a commitment to them, ready to take on the powers that be, insisting (demanding?) that decisions made were in the best interest of the children, not necessarily the institution. She did not always win the battles, and she could display a righteous anger, but her tenacious and fierce determination to see that justice was done remained undeterred. It might take a few rounds of margaritas (New Orleans) and beers (KC) with her fellow comrades to get ready for the next round, but she continued to strive, undeterred by negative outcomes. Most of us could not keep up with her, but she pulled us along with her enthusiasm and heartfelt belief that working together we could make life better for others.

Michaella was a deeply spiritual person who found peace with nature. During the last two years of her life, she ventured outside to feel the sun and wind on her face—kayaking, walking among the sunflowers, viewing changes that marked the seasons. One of the reasons she loved living in New Orleans was her chance to be outside multiple months of the year. She lamented her gradual inability to tend to her flowerbeds.

Finally, I want to address Michaella’s deep love for Bella throughout their life together, but especially during her illness. These last four years have been difficult for both of them. Despite all the challenges, Michaella never complained. Her focus was always outward to the affects her death would have on Bella, not inward to her own fate. She wanted to make life as easy as possible for Bella after she died. She had hoped that Logan, the love of Bella’s life, would be with her to share her sorrow when Mic died. However, Logan’s tragic death by leukemia four months ago dashed those hopes. Michaella found solace in knowing that the many people who love her also love her daughter and will help her during the difficult times ahead.

Note: This is the other piece of information Michaella offered on that 3x5 card: In addition to her daughter Isabella, Michaella is survived by her siblings John Kevin (Shannon), Paul Neal, Deana Reichert (Chris), Lisa Weinand, Jennifer Lundstrom (Adam); and their children Shanon Neal Newlin (Rex); John Kevin Neal, Jr; Kevin and Sarah Wienand; Lily Reichert; Maggie and Alex Lundstrom. Michaella was the great aunt to six nephews and nieces and a great-great nephew. She is also survived by her uncles Jim, Bill, and John (Jane) Lawless. She is predeceased by her father (1999), her mother (2024); and her uncle Pierce Michael Lawless; her grandparents Pierce Michael and Pauline Lawless, and Harold and Lillie Grace Neal. The family would like to thank St. Luke’s Hospice for their care of Michaella during her final days.

A Celebration of Life will be held on January 11, 2025 starting at 11:00 a.m. at The Atrium at Unity Village, 200 Unity Circle North, Lee's Summit, MO 64086.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Alphapointe, an organization that supports the blind and visually impaired at www.alphapointe.org, or to Pancreatic Cancer Action Network pancan.org